Appearances and Mishaps (Oct. 20 & 23)

I used to feel pressured by blogging. Back when I was writing about my journey with Gambler, I felt like if I didn't progress enough I would be judged or embarrassed. I don't feel that way at all anymore. I am confident and content in my journey with Avalon. It's about the journey, not how much we achieve in the end. 

The change in thinking has changed my content. Instead of focusing on my failures and struggles, I joke about the struggles and focus on the tiny victories. I didn't think too much about the effect this could have until recently someone complimented our relationship. An acquaintance of mine talked about how much she wanted to have a horse like mine. I was surprised. 

Of course, I want a horse like mine. I want a relationship like I have, but most people really don't. I have an unbroken four year old Arabian mare. She is dominant and tests me constantly. She bolts on windy days, or when she sees children running, or when trucks drive by. She still randomly bucks when wearing a saddle, or without one. Yesterday I spent half an hour trying to catch her because she felt like galloping around the pasture instead. Technically, I am not qualified to train this horse. Many trainers would not suggest pairing a horse of her training level with a person of my experience level. This is not an ideal situation. 

This works for us, because I have realistic expectations. I know the danger and my own shortcomings. I am willing to put in hours of work to study different trainers on line. Hours of watching YouTube Videos. I just spent $50 (an awesome discounted price actually, it costs over $200 now) on a colt starting documentary. I have Pat Parelli's colt starting video series on my book shelf at home. I am taking this process oh-so-slow. Profession trainers start horses in 30 or 90 days, I'm going on two years. That isn't because Avalon isn't ready - she was ready for a first ride the day I bought her, or very soon after. It's because I know that I need to learn. I need to be as informed as possible. Every time I hit a bump, I need to run to people who know what they are doing. Ultimately, if I can't figure it out on my own before Avalon turns six (the age when horses get harder to train), I'm going to find a trainer. 

It's a process, and a process that I love. I intend to be very good at this one day. At the moment, it's still a challenge For example, I thought I finally figured out a saddle solution. The western saddle doesn't fit perfectly, but it was stable and I could use it for long lining. Until it stopped being stable. Twice now, it has slipped sideways on Avalon while she was already afraid. When it's tight enough, it pinches her withers. When it isn't pinching, it's sliding and scaring her. So I need to reevaluate. 

That's when the relationship comes in. A lot of babies have terrible experiences with saddles that slip under their bellies. However, both times that the saddle slipped, I told Ava to "woah" and walked up. Even though she was shaking with fear, she stood still on a loose line while I fixed the saddle. If she didn't trust me enough to stand, she would probably buck the saddle off, or twist it completely underneath herself and traumatize herself further. 

Another mistake a made recently, was trying to tie my white Parelli 22' line to my nylon halter. You'll notice that I'm using my long line as a lunge line in the above photo. I usually tie the 22' line to my rope halter and it stays. It does not stay tied to my nylon halter, as I learned the hard way when Avalon bolted and the rope fell right off. Thankfully I was in the arena, so no real harm was done.

My point is: I will gladly accept compliments regarding my relationship with my horse. I am so proud of everything we have accomplished together. What I don't want, is for anyone to put us on a pedestal. This works for us, but it might not work for everyone. You can have an amazing relationship with your horse without half of this chaos. I love the chaos of baby horses, but I don't want to slip into only showing the highlight reel. We have our bad moments with our good. 

It is all too easy to look at the good parts - the parts that people post to Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, or their blog - and create an ideal that doesn't actually exist.