Peace

Then I looked again at all the acts of oppression which were being done under the sun. And behold I saw the tears of the oppressed and that they had no one to comfort them; and on the side of their oppressors was power, but they had no one to comfort them. So I congratulated the dead who are already dead more than the living who are still living. But better off than both of them is the one who has never existed, who has never seen the evil activity that is done under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 4:1-3

I made it safely to Oregon. There are a million joyful, exciting things I have to write about Avalon, Crystal Peaks, Diabetes, and my journey through life. But right now feels like the wrong time to talk about it. 

As hopeful and happy as I am to be serving here on the ranch, living a dream God placed in my heart over a decade ago, my heart is heavy. 

I'm sure you know what I am talking about before I mention George Floyd or the protests or the riots.  But I'm mentioning them anyway. As a human, my simple, proud heart is eager to present opinions and value calls. Ultimately, it isn't my place. I don't have the wisdom or the right. Anything I say will only offend people who disagree with me or encourage people who agree - whether they are right or not. No one is looking to me for information or my opinion, so I won't share it. 

I will say that the world is a beautiful, but devastatingly broken place. If there ever was any doubt that humanity is fallen and cursed, surely there is not now. We can put giant metal birds thousands of miles into the sky but we can't eradicate racism. Humans are not basically good. We are creatures of survival. We seek to survive and the things we do to survive ultimately kill us. 

This is an evil in all that is done under the sun, that there is one fate for all men. Furthermore, the hearts of the sons of men are full of evil and insanity is in their hearts throughout their lives. Afterwards they go to the dead.

-Ecclesiastes 9:3

There is murder, violence, pride, anger, jealousy, bigotry, racism, classism, discrimination of many kinds, rape, abuse, and the smaller, seemingly innocent killers: gossip, bitterness, revenge. There is no justice or peace on the earth and no amount of wealth or legislation or technology will change that. There is only one solution to our madness. Jesus Christ, who came to earth as another human being, with all the weaknesses that entails, but without sin. Who lived on earth alongside us, a perfect example of what we all know deep down we ought to be (or at least, or friends and family and political opponents ought to be), and died the death we all deserve (or at least, our political opponents. . . I rest my case). 

But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall, by abolishing in His flesh the enmity, which is the Law of commandments contained in ordinances, so that in Himself He might make the two into one new man, thus establishing peace, and might reconcile them both in one body to God through the cross, by it having put to death the enmity. And He came and preached peace to you who were far away, and peace to those who were near

Ephesians 2: 13-17

Learning & Motivation Term Project

Learned Helplessness: Controlled by the Uncontrollable 

These Uncertain Times

    In this time of uncertainty, people may find themselves overwhelmed by the state of the world. Illness, economic well-being, and job stability are all suddenly out of our control. Even small day-to-day choices, like watching a movie in theater or spending time with a close friend, are snatched away from us. People who struggle with mental illness find themselves sequestered in their homes, confronted with their emotions. People who have never experienced mental illness before are seeking help as the stress and concern overtakes them. Terms like "depression" and "anxiety" are commonplace. However, there is another relevant term that isn't as well known: learned helplessness. 

Shocking Discoveries

    In 1967, Seligman and Maier conducted a study on dogs using an electric shock (Powell, R. A., Honey, P. L., & Symbaluk, D. G., 2015). The dogs were given four different conditions. Some dogs were not shocked. Some dogs received shocks and could not do anything to stop them. Some dogs received shocks, but they could stop the shock by performing a task. In this case, the dogs stopped the shock by pressing a lever. In the final condition, the dogs were paired up. One dog had the power to turn off the shock for both, the other dog was at the mercy of the first, completely unable to control the shock. 

    The next step was to put each dog to the test individually. Each dog was put on a grid which produced an electric shock. If the dog jumped over a divider, it could escape the shock. The results were fascinating. Each condition influenced the way the dogs learned to jump the divider. First, dogs from the condition where they were able to stop shocks by pressing a lever and the dogs who were not shocked at all learned quickly to jump over the divider and escape the discomfort. The dogs who had no control over the shock in the first part of the experiment did not learn. Even if they accidentally completed the task of jumping the divider, they did not realize it was a means of escape. This behavior is referred to as learned helplessness. 

The Theory

    Learned helplessness is "a decrement in learning ability that results from repeated exposure to uncontrollable aversive events"(Powell, R. A., Honey, P. L., & Symbaluk, D. G., 2015). When an individual is exposed to unpleasant stimuli, whether it be an electric shock, an abusive relationship, or financial hardship; the natural response is to try to rectify the situation. When all attempts to escape or confront the painful experience fail, the individual learns that their actions do not influence their circumstances (Smallheer, B. A., Vollman, M., & Dietrich, M. S., 2018). In the experiment Seligman and Maier performed, the dogs who could not control the electric shock learned that they were helpless. Then, when they were given the opportunity to avoid the shock, they could not learn to escape, because they had learned that they were helpless (Powell, R. A., Honey, P. L., & Symbaluk, D. G., 2015). 

Learned Helplessness And Clinical Psychology

       A study was conducted on a group of men and women who had experienced a heart attack (Smallheer, B. A., Vollman, M., & Dietrich, M. S., 2018). The goal was to determine if there was a correlation between learned helplessness and depressive symptoms in heart attack survivors. By comparing data gathered from medical records, the Learned Helplessness Scale, and the Beck Depressive Inventory-Second Edition, the researchers determined that there is a relationship between learned helplessness and symptoms of depression. This is a relationship demonstrated in patients suffering from several chronic illnesses, such as arthritis, fibromyalgia, and chronic pain. Understanding the implications of learned helplessness may help treat patients with physical and mental illness. 

Everyday Implications

    How does learned helplessness influence the day-to-day life of the average person? It might not. An individual must experience circumstances out of their control in order to learn helplessness. However, there might be areas of average life where the theory becomes relevant. Researchers in Turkey set out to determine if there was a relationship between learned helplessness and test anxiety in students taking placement exams (Akca, Figen., 2011). No statistically significant relationship was found, but the study serves as an example of how learned helplessness could influence everyday life. The theory calls for further study. How could learned helplessness be impacting scores in school, choices in the workplace, or health decisions? How many people have learned to stop trying to change their circumstances? Will COVID-19 cause people all around the world to learn helplessness?

References

Akca, Figen. (2011). The Relationship Between Test Anxiety and Learned Helplessness. Social Behavior & Personality: an international journal 2011, 39(1), 101-110. http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail/detail?vid=0&sid=49af1e53-712b-4933-9303-29b6d47b3466%40sessionmgr4007&bdata=JkF1dGhUeXBlPWlwLHVpZCZzaXRlPWVob3N0LWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#AN=58034293&db=s3h

Powell, R. A., Honey, P. L., & Symbaluk, D. G. (2015). Introduction of learning and behavior. Cengage Learning.

Smallheer, B. A., Vollman, M., & Dietrich, M. S. (2018). Clinical Nursing Research, 27(5), 597-616. https://doi.org/10.1177/1054773816689752

Life Goes On (The Month of March)

I assume that some of you are wondering how Avalon is doing. This is an equestrian blog after all. I can't help noticing with amusement that hospital posts are more popular than the training posts. It gives me a deeper appreciation of clickbait. However, I don't write to get views. I write because I love writing and because I want to share my journey in as authentic a way as possible. Sometimes that means taking a short break from equestrian content to talk about health, faith, and philosophy, but it's time to return to my unsafe investment: Avalon. 

March 23, 2020

Ava has been taking lots of naps lately. 

I started spending more time at the barn in March when my classes switched to an online format. The barn is a great place to get outside and de-stress while social distancing.

Ava was spooky and energetic in March and April. She spent a lot of time galloping around the pasture just because she could. She stood tied, but wandered back and forth snorting and staring. 

Fuzzy, tangled, muddy mess.

The shedding begins!

I decided not to tackle the huge tangles in her mane until I could give her a bath. 

Gorgeous!

She's stepping up her selfie game.

March 24 & 26

I discovered Gabi Neurohr on Instagram last year. She wrote a book called Understanding is Key and I 100% recommend it. It is one of the best horse training books I have read, and I've read a few. I will be writing a review one of these days. After reading the book, I purchased one of her online horse training documentaries. In the documentary she uses a cloverleaf pattern to direct the horse's attention on the ground. This helps the horse use the thinking part of it's brain instead of reacting. I tried this with Avalon on the 24th and 26th. At first, she kept bolting mid-pattern. However, we had a breakthrough on the 26th when I started  . . . ignoring the bolting. Ignoring isn't quite right, but I can't think of a better word. Instead of trying to control the bolt, I stayed focused on the pattern. Soon she was trotting the pattern calmly. 

I spent most of my time getting her to stop looking like this

and look more like this.

Satisfaction

My relationship with food has completely changed. Every meal, I have to count the amount of carbs and sugar and then calculate how much insulin my body will need to take the sugar out of my blood and give it to my cells. The rest of my life is an educated guessing game. I have be my own pancreas, inject myself with insulin four times every day. In the past, I took white bread and chocolate and fast food for granted. I could sit down and eat mindlessly. Now everything I eat or drink has to be intentional and planned. I can't skip meals like I used to. I have to monitor my sleep, exercise, and caffeine intake. All of this has changed the way that I view food. 

In some ways, I am so much more thankful for food. I am thankful for the ability to taste food. I'm thankful for the way food fuels my body, giving me the energy I need to live a fulfilling life. I'm thankful that the technology exists to keep me alive and allow me to eat pretty much anything I want - with moderation and planning. But in other ways, food has lost its appeal. 

Food can become a source of anxiety if I allow myself to overthink. I can't run to mindless comfort eating when I am stressed or experiencing shame. I think that is a good thing. A lot of things have happened over the last six months. I broke my finger, crashed my car, received my diagnosis. One by one, God is stripping away my idols. Every source of safety that comes crashing down makes earth a little less . . . satisfying. As this life becomes less satisfying, the next becomes more exciting. 

"Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth." Colossians 3:2

Ironically, the more I focus my heart on spiritual things, the more I engage with this life. I know that all of this has always been part of the plan. I also know that the plan is good and awesome and beautiful. This gives me the freedom to live boldly and joyfully and vulnerably even on days of weakness and anxiety and pride. There is satisfaction better than chocolate or Krispy Kreme donuts. 

"Ho! Every one who thirsts, come to the waters;

And you who have no money come, buy, and eat. 

Come, buy wine and milk

Without money and without cost.

Why do you spend money for what is not bread,

And your wages for what does not satisfy?

Listen carefully to Me.

Listen, that you may live;

And I will make an everlasting covenant with you,

According to the faithful mercies shown to David. 

-Isaiah 55:1-3