Appearances and Mishaps (Oct. 20 & 23)

I used to feel pressured by blogging. Back when I was writing about my journey with Gambler, I felt like if I didn't progress enough I would be judged or embarrassed. I don't feel that way at all anymore. I am confident and content in my journey with Avalon. It's about the journey, not how much we achieve in the end. 

The change in thinking has changed my content. Instead of focusing on my failures and struggles, I joke about the struggles and focus on the tiny victories. I didn't think too much about the effect this could have until recently someone complimented our relationship. An acquaintance of mine talked about how much she wanted to have a horse like mine. I was surprised. 

Of course, I want a horse like mine. I want a relationship like I have, but most people really don't. I have an unbroken four year old Arabian mare. She is dominant and tests me constantly. She bolts on windy days, or when she sees children running, or when trucks drive by. She still randomly bucks when wearing a saddle, or without one. Yesterday I spent half an hour trying to catch her because she felt like galloping around the pasture instead. Technically, I am not qualified to train this horse. Many trainers would not suggest pairing a horse of her training level with a person of my experience level. This is not an ideal situation. 

This works for us, because I have realistic expectations. I know the danger and my own shortcomings. I am willing to put in hours of work to study different trainers on line. Hours of watching YouTube Videos. I just spent $50 (an awesome discounted price actually, it costs over $200 now) on a colt starting documentary. I have Pat Parelli's colt starting video series on my book shelf at home. I am taking this process oh-so-slow. Profession trainers start horses in 30 or 90 days, I'm going on two years. That isn't because Avalon isn't ready - she was ready for a first ride the day I bought her, or very soon after. It's because I know that I need to learn. I need to be as informed as possible. Every time I hit a bump, I need to run to people who know what they are doing. Ultimately, if I can't figure it out on my own before Avalon turns six (the age when horses get harder to train), I'm going to find a trainer. 

It's a process, and a process that I love. I intend to be very good at this one day. At the moment, it's still a challenge For example, I thought I finally figured out a saddle solution. The western saddle doesn't fit perfectly, but it was stable and I could use it for long lining. Until it stopped being stable. Twice now, it has slipped sideways on Avalon while she was already afraid. When it's tight enough, it pinches her withers. When it isn't pinching, it's sliding and scaring her. So I need to reevaluate. 

That's when the relationship comes in. A lot of babies have terrible experiences with saddles that slip under their bellies. However, both times that the saddle slipped, I told Ava to "woah" and walked up. Even though she was shaking with fear, she stood still on a loose line while I fixed the saddle. If she didn't trust me enough to stand, she would probably buck the saddle off, or twist it completely underneath herself and traumatize herself further. 

Another mistake a made recently, was trying to tie my white Parelli 22' line to my nylon halter. You'll notice that I'm using my long line as a lunge line in the above photo. I usually tie the 22' line to my rope halter and it stays. It does not stay tied to my nylon halter, as I learned the hard way when Avalon bolted and the rope fell right off. Thankfully I was in the arena, so no real harm was done.

My point is: I will gladly accept compliments regarding my relationship with my horse. I am so proud of everything we have accomplished together. What I don't want, is for anyone to put us on a pedestal. This works for us, but it might not work for everyone. You can have an amazing relationship with your horse without half of this chaos. I love the chaos of baby horses, but I don't want to slip into only showing the highlight reel. We have our bad moments with our good. 

It is all too easy to look at the good parts - the parts that people post to Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, or their blog - and create an ideal that doesn't actually exist. 

Leaves for Dessert (Oct. 18)

I love my horse so much. Yesterday, I was thinking about all the years I spent longing for my own horse. Coveting other people's horses. Bitterly judging them for taking their pets for granted. Thankfully, I realized how sinful and self-destructive that was and started practicing thankfulness and compassion instead. But now, looking back on those years of wishing and dreaming of my own horse, I'm filled with so much joy! I have so many ambitions for Avalon and I, but if we never get past groundwork in the pasture I will be content. I'm overjoyed just to have a horse to take walks with. 

That said, this filly is a pain in the butt. On this particular day, I drove out to the barn to find Avalon chasing down all the maple leaves that blew into the pasture. Notice - there aren't any maple trees in the pasture. She was eating all the leaves from a tree several feet away. You can see it to the left of the trailer in the above picture. Some maple leaves are poisonous, some aren't. I don't think she was ever in any danger, because she would have to eat about two pounds of leaves to die, but I wasn't about to take any chances. Did I mention that there was hay in the pasture? Plenty of hay. I guess the slow feed hay net was too much of a hassle. 

Lookit my cute lil car in the background. I miss it so much. 

Now miss sassy pants is getting grain every day. I don't usually grain her because she is an easy keeper. Also, when she gets grain the sassy factor goes waaaaaaaay up. Flash forward to when I visited the barn yesterday and she galloped in circles for five minutes. Sigh. Whatever it takes to dissuade Avalon from eating potentially poisonous leafies.

Training with a Broken Finger (Oct. 17)

Fun lil lady bug

I need to write these posts right away after the session, because I am forgetting so many things! Anyway, I will try to remember my first day training with a broken finger.

I switched from the rope halter to my nylon halter, because it has a throat latch clip. It is much easier to clip a halter on with a broken finger than it is to tie a knot. At this time I was still in a lot of pain if I put any pressure on my index finger at all. 

The fall colors were at their best mid October. I think that it lasted all of two weeks before rainstorms knocked all the trees empty. Good thing I took so many pictures!

I've been playing with Avalon at liberty in the arena lately. Mostly she grazes or gallops aimlessly, but I don't take it personally. Here I convinced Avalon to walk around with me away from her grass without bolting or bucking.

Sometimes I can draw Avalon to me. Other times, she doesn't feel it. I want to have a strong bond with her, but I have to keep reminding myself that she isn't Gambler. Gamby claimed me as his person right away. Avalon is a mare; an independent, aloof horse by nature. She will cuddle, but she doesn't care who she cuddles. Someday I will have the relationship with her that I'm looking for, but I'm going to have to earn it. Right now she works for me because she has to (her behavior is completely different in the exact same environment depending on whether she has a lead rope on or not). I want her to work with me because she wants to. 

So beautiful! I love this picture of Avalon.

Can you spot my new bestie in the picture above? If you can't, check out the next photo. 

Dinah is the newest barn cat and she is my lil buddy. The barn owner referred to her today as a pest, and he wasn't far off. She is a complete pest and I spoil her rotten. Someday I will probably regret this, but she is just too cute! I have no words for the cuteness of this kitten . . .but a picture is worth a thousand words. 

She's so smart too! When I was playing the circling game with Avalon, Dinah wandered around the edges of the arena mewing and watching us. She is smart enough to know not to run up to me when she could get run over. She waited until Ava was calmly eating in the background to chase me down and demand cuddles.  She climbs my leg when she wants cuddles, which is going to hurt when she is older. But she is so cute!

Overall, it wasn't too hard to train with a broken finger. I discovered that holding the rope between my pointer finger and thumb (like an OK sign) allowed me to avoid putting pressure on the broken finger, even when Avalon bolted. 

Finger-Breaking Good (Oct. 6)

I have a secret: I love drama. Depending on who you ask, it isn't actually a secret. Maybe it runs in the family. Maybe it’s a woman thing (although I’ll fight anyone who says it is). Maybe it’s a flaw. Whatever the case, I love a dramatic retelling. 

However, I don’t like this about myself. My experiences with other people who love drama have left a bad taste in my mouth. Drama tastes like betrayal, lies, delusions, paranoia, broken relationships, lack of character. So, I try to subdue my dramatic side as much as possible. I’ve even started to cut all the obvious hyperbole out of my vocabulary.

The exception is when something good or bad happens to me that has nothing to do with anyone else. This is when I let my wild, dramatic side run loose. I still avoid lying and exaggerating, but when I break my finger (or crash my car, or my horse does something ridiculous) I reserve the right to relish every drop of dramatic goodness. Since it doesn’t involve other people, there is no way I can slip into slander, gossip, paranoia, or hurt the people around me in some other way.

I've already told the story of the broken finger, but I never wrote about my training with Avalon that day. Here is that post, and some broken finger follow-ups. 

(There are some bruised finger pictures later in the post)

Am I the only one who thinks pastures are absolutely beautiful, even when they are inches deep in "mud"?

I began my session with Avalon by tying her in the round pen. She has gotten really good at standing tied at the hitching post, but I want to start teaching her that it's normal to stand tied in other places as well. She pulled back once or twice, but only testing the rope. She never really threw herself into it or tried to get free.

Observing from a distance so I could rush over if she did anything stupid. Throwback to when I had my Kia. 

I returned to the round pen after a few minutes with the tarp. I flapped it around on her back while she stood tied. She was much more concerned about the wind than the tarp. After that I untied her and laid the tarp on the ground, leaving her to investigate on her own. 

Fun with tarps.

At first she did her own thing.

Her favorite thing: standing by the gate.

But then she came back to investigate.

Walked right onto the tarp by herself.

The weather was windy and cold, typical to October in Wisconsin. In the round pen, Avalon showed signs of relaxation by licking, chewing, and yawning. But once we moved out of the round pen into the yard, she became alert and anxious. 

To help her process the change in weather, I brought out a variety of scary objects. There was a feed bag, an umbrella, a jacket, and a few other items. After a while she ignored all the scary objects I could find, so I got creative. I found a plastic bag and tied it to the end of my lead rope. I waved the bag around and rubbed it on her body. Avalon handled it all very well. She was more nervous with the plastic bags than any of the other objects, but she still managed her emotions like we have practiced. 

Then I decided to flick the plastic bag at Avalon's front hooves. She spooked, reared back, and struck at the bag. Immediately after, she stopped and looked toward me for direction - the perfect response. However, the rope tangled around my right index finger as she pulled back. I thought right away that it was broken, but figured I was overreacting. I continued to use the plastic bags as a training tool for about five more minutes. Once Avalon accepted the bag with her hooves, I stood back to give her release. That was when I realized that my finger still hurt, a lot.  

I took this picture right before breaking my finger. 

The rest of the story is written in my broken finger updates post. Here are some fun pictures of the healing process.

Picture from the ER as I waited for xray results.

In the ER I was given a splint.

I became worried about the finger a few days after I broke it. The paperwork from the ER said I fractured my distal phalanx (fingertip), but most of the swelling occurred in in lower joint. That joint was flattened by the splint and turned purple and swollen. 

The finger turned purple, green, and black at both of the knuckles. 

I returned to the doctor for my follow-up appointment and discovered the paperwork was incorrect. I had broken the middle phalanx, the bone between the two finger joints. This diagnosis made sense with the pattern of swelling.

The doctor showed me the x rays. The break starts at the top of my middle phalanx and goes almost all the way through the bone horizontally, then takes a corner and stretches vertically through the bone. Enjoy this beautiful diagram since I didn't think to take a picture of the xray.

Thankfully, the break did not go all the way through the bone in either direction, which meant the injury was stable. I was able to take the splint off and buddy tape my fingers instead. The tape was more comfortable and more convenient since it was water proof (I couldn't get the splint wet).

Starting to look better.

I discovered the best way to continue working with horses was to hold ropes with my pointer finger and thumb. After a few weeks the tape started ripping my skin off, so I used gauze or tissue to protect my fingers.  

I'm writing this on the 10^th of November, exactly five weeks since the injury. It takes four to six weeks to heal a broken bone typically (at least a simple, straight-forward break), so I’m almost good as new. Every once in a while, I feel a twinge of discomfort, but I haven't taped my finger in about a week. 

10 Questions For October

These are a little late, but I think you'll enjoy them nonetheless. I first encountered these questions on Alanna's blog Pony Express, where I followed them to Viva Carlos. I don't know why I wasn't following L. Williams' blog before, I know I used to read it. If you like the horse blog scene for the horses (translate: you aren't just reading this just because you're my friends or family), you should really check them both out. Without further ado, here are my answers to this year's 10 questions.

1. What discipline do you ride? What would you ride if you could pick any other one?

Honestly, I don't know the answer to this question. I took dressage, jumping, and x-country lessons in pony club (mostly dressage). I have trail ridden in western tack. I took an advanced horsemanship class last semester where I learned reining. In total, I have a western saddle (which I am currently using) and three english saddles. To top it all off, I haven't ridden since May. So . . .I ride whatever discipline offers me an opportunity. I would love to compete in a lot of different disciplines once, but I don't know if I'll ever find one to settle down with.

2. How many horses have you ridden in your entire riding career?

Oh boi. That is a question. To list them: Koy, Merrylegs, Zipporah, Mars, Sampson, Prancer, Babe, Autumn, Moses, Jamaica, Dan, Omine, Jack, Sierra, Rosie, Princess, Promise, Tango, Vinyassa, Cadence, Topaz, Spring, Montana, Cali, Desi, a buckskin whose name I have forgotten, Donnie, Domino, a very green mare whose name I have forgotten, Cowboy, horse and pony rides I barely remember from fairs as a child, Polly, Skip, a number of other lesson horses from advanced horsemanship whose names I never learned, Gambler, Avalon, a gaming pony whose name I have forgotten, another Dan, a number of camp horses whose names I have forgotten, Blaze, and I'm sure there are others that I have forgotten at the moment.

This picture is from my first riding lesson ever. The mare's name was Zipporah, or Zippo.

If you open up the question to horses I have trained (not fully trained, but spent a session or two of groundwork), there are even more. I've been able to interact with many horses from a variety of breeds, personalities, and training levels: one of the perks of not having your own horse for a long time.

I adored this herd of horses. Sadly they have all died or been rehomed since.

3. Most bizarre activity you’ve done with your horse/a horse?

Bizarre is in the eyes of the beholder. I do things that many people who aren’t familiar with horses would find odd. For instance, I do a lot of strange things to desensitize horses. I’ll run, do jumping jacks; bring balloons and pool noodles and bags to the barn.

  

Some horse people might think the things I do differently are odd. I have been criticized countless times for being too easy on horses I train. Usually they say something like, “You're letting the horse push you around.” For the record, I do not let my horses push me around. My horses know exactly how close to me they may get. They do not bite or kick me without being “bitten or kicked” in return. I am not afraid to physically hit a horse, but I save those corrections for issues of safety.

There is a difference between smacking a horse on the rump with whip when it kicks toward your face and hitting a horse in the chest with a whip because it didn’t back up fast enough. If you go from 0 to 100 when teaching your horse to move away, you will have to go to 100 every time you want that horse to move. I like to go through the stages of 1,2,3,4,5, and so on. To outsiders, this looks like I’m just repeating myself while my horse ignores me. Pretty bizarre! But in six months, my horse will be backing from 1 and their horse will still be backing from 100.

4. Do you consider riding to be your outlet? If yes, why?

I don’t ride much these days, but horses are my outlet. In order to ride and train well, you must learn to dwell in the moment. Horses are never wondering about tomorrow or contemplating yesterday. Every time I head to the barn, I get to immerse myself in the right now. It’s refreshing.

5. Have you ever read horse-related magazines? If yes, which one(s)?

Yes! I read Young Rider when I was. . . a young rider. I won my cinch and pink helmet from that magazine. I also have read Equus, Horse & Rider, and the seasonal USEF magazine.

6. Most memorable advice given to you?

This one is hard, because I have gotten so much advice. Most of it has been archived in a brain space labeled “miscellaneous horse wisdom”. However, the best advice that I have . . . absorbed from different sources is the horse always has a reason. Horses are unpredictable, yes, but that is only because us humans suck and realizing why they do what they do.

7. Did you ever collect Breyer horse models or similar?

I collected a few Breyer horse models, but I preferred the smaller, hardier Schleich models from Fleet Farm.

8. Favorite “celebrity” horse?

My favorite “celebrity” horse is Teddy O’Connor. If you don’t know who that is . . . I’m disappointed in you. As for “celebrity” horses that are still alive, I love Elisa Wallace’s Hwin. I’ve also been fascinated with Sam Vanfleet’s current Player’s Choice Mustang Makeover mare, Roulette. YouTube horses count as celebrities, right?

9. If you could spend a day learning from any horse person (past or present) who would you choose?

This question is entirely unfair. How am I supposed to choose just one? I am entirely fascinated with Warwick Schiller’s training methods. A lesson with Elisa Wallace would be fantastic. I’ve just started looking at the TRT method as well. If I did have to choose just one, it would have to be Pat Parelli. People have their issues with the Parelli program, personally I have broadened my horizons to other trainers, but Pat Parelli himself is a true horseman and I feel like I could learn so much from him.

10. If you could ride in any international arena in the world, where would you choose?

International arenas aren’t on my radar at the moment. I’m more concerned with the here and now with Avalon. However, if I was ever at a level of riding and training that landed me overseas, I don’t think I would care where I was. The honor of traveling for something I love would be enough for me.