On Moral Judgements and Horses -April 5th

 

Sometimes I fall into the trap of labelling things as if they were clearly black and white, when they are more like my horse in April: grey and muddy. 

One moral judgement I slip into - and I think I'm not alone in this - is labeling days as "good" or "bad". Avalon is spooky - bad day. Avalon is calm - good day. Groundwork - meh day. Riding - good day. 

Today, when I caught Avalon, I was expecting her to be holding a lot of energy in her body. It is spring after all and windy. To my surprise, she walked most of the way to the barn calmly. Right as we were nearing the entrance of the barn, she became anxious. A friend starting calling back and forth with her. Suddenly, I found myself flying my mare like a kite. Rearing, encroaching in my space, you name it. 

Out loud I said: "Neither of us are emotionally regulated right now." It was true. Avalon was spooky and distracted. My adrenal glands were pumping fight-or-flight juice. Both of us were operating on the sympathetic nervous system. At this point, there was a part of my brain that started whispering, this is going to be a bad day.

The physical situation we were in was dangerous. The ground was a few inches deep in mud and the alley was narrow. I opted for damage control until we were in the barn and then flew my kite right over to the arena. In the arena, the doors were slamming in the wind and my kite was now cantering around me in tiny circles. I don't know if I thought or said to myself, "I don't know what to do right now." I find that very interesting looking back because I did know what to do, and I did it, and it worked. I think that idea demonstrates how incapable humans (and horses) are when we are working from the sympathetic nervous response. Our bodies become overwhelmed and controlled by our feelings. 

I started by allowing moving us over to some ground poles set up so that you could circle a horse over them and there would be one pole on either side of the circle. This gave Avalon something to think about besides RUN. While she cantered around me dramatically jumping the ground poles, I took responsibility for my own emotions. Breathing, blowing out like a horse does, consciously relaxing my muscles, I returned to the parasympathetic nervous system. Once my heart had stopped pounding, I took the next step to encourage Avalon to join me. I asked her for transitions, changes in direction, and eventually to stand still for a few moments. I don't know how long it took us, but we were both able to calm down completely. I had Avalon in the barn for a couple of hours as I groomed her for her spring vet visit and she didn't slip back into fight or flight the entire time. She was able to walk calmly and stand quietly for all the needles. 

This got me thinking about "good" and "bad" days. What is better: a day where my horse is completely calm and not challenged in any way or a day when both of us are challenged by our emotions and both are able to self-regulate and return to a calm mindful way of thinking?

I dare to say it was a good day. 

Gambey Anniversary Post -Repost

Ladies and Gents, it's colic season. Technically, it's always colic season, especially if you have a horse with an exceptionally sensitive gut. But every year, in western Wisconsin, we get chilly, fall weather complete with windblown thunderstorms only to have them replaced with 90 degree humid days. Two years ago today the vet said it was affecting a lot of horses in the area.

**Contrary to the cheery title and opening paragraph, this a post about losing my first horse in September 2017. Some of the descriptions of what he went through are graphic and may difficult to read. But horses die, and there are a few things I think everyone should have on their minds. So please skip to the bottom paragraph if you don't want to read the whole post. <3 **

I remember a lot of things from September 25th, 2017. I remember bringing one of my best friends out to see Gambler. I remember that I was going to canter for the first time that day, but I didn't because I was worried about the heat causing colic. Turns out that worrying does not equal prevention. 

I remember getting the call that Gamby was down and rolling, and very rudely telling my mother she was overreacting. Because who wants to believe that kind of news? 

I remember the look on his face - it was like he wasn't even there.

I remember trying to lead him, but I had just gone on a multiple-hour-long hike and my whole legs ached and popped. I couldn't lead him fast enough to keep him from going down so I had to stand and watch my mom lead him for hours and hours and hours. I remember feeling helpless. I felt like a bad owner. I remember the blisters we both had the next day.

I remember that I didn't cry until 2am when the vet said something hopeful in a tone of voice that told me there was no hope. 

I remember learning that horses can indeed throw up - but it's something you never want to experience. I remember the smell of mineral oil and horse stomach juice on the sleeves of my sweatshirt. I remember waiting as long as I could to wash that sweatshirt because as bad as it smelled - it smelled like him.

I remember feeling so small, helpless, and broken. 

I remember finally letting him go. Watching his white eyelashes blink shut. Taking pictures and videos so I would never forget.

Losing Gambler is the worst thing I have experienced in my life so far. It completely changed me as a person - for the better. And if he had never gone, I would never have the amazing relationship I have now with Avalon. But the pitiless reality that horses die, suddenly, is something every horse owner needs to be prepared for. 

• Are you willing to pay for expensive surgery for colic, a broken bone, or another life-threatening illness? If so, make sure you have that money on hand.
• Do you want mementos of your horse? If so, make them now. Horsehair jewelry, hoof or chestnut clippings, and of course photos are all options. 
• When your horse dies, cut off a lot of his tail. Don't go for the mane like I did unpreparedly. You can do much more with a tail portion twice the diameter of a pencil - more is better.

Avalon Updates: February 2021 - May 2021

Everyone knows there is a "right way" to start a horse. 

Step one: Buy a three year old, put a few rides on her, then only do groundwork for the next two years. 

Step two: Leave the five year old horse in the pasture all summer for an internship. More groundwork in the fall, then leave the horse sitting in the pasture all winter. 

Step three: Build a "mounting block" out of snow and jump onto horse that has been mostly untouched for the last year. 

(I'm being sarcastic. Please don't try this at home.)

Jokes aside, that is exactly how I started my horse. I'm so impressed with her behavior under saddle. She is a treasure of a horse.  

February

March - No Photos

April 

April and March are dedicated to building trust and emotional maturity. As anyone who has owned an Arabian knows, the spring months are especially challenging. Wind is the natural enemy of horses (no seriously though). Wind affects the horse's ability to smell and hear predators. It is natural and healthy for a horse to be extra sensitive and alert during the windier months. We spent a lot of time on groundwork and liberty in the arena practicing healthy responses to windy weather. 

I love that Ava lets me sit on her when she's laying out in the pasture. The first time I every sat on her was exactly like this - about two weeks after I brought her home!

May

You show that hoodie who's boss! May was so much fun! It was warm and not too windy so we were able to spend a lot of time together. 

Doesn't she look so lovely and grown up!

We spent a lot of time practicing standing tied. She was doing really well with this. Notice the past tense here . . . we ran into trouble a little later. 

In May we started really riding for the first time. My mom came out once to help Ava understand free forward movement (more on this later) and after that one day we had it down. There was some very loud construction nearby for the whole summer. I was impressed with how Avalon handled it. Some days she would start anxious and reactive, but within minutes was calm enough to be ridden walk trot without any issue. 

This spring was especially wet, so we were not able to ride in the outdoor arena. It was too slippery even at a walk. 

This photo looks positively vicious. I know it looks like she's taking a chunk out of my hand/face, but I promise she was only licking and nibbling on my hair. 

Remember when I said we ran into trouble with standing tied? I don't know what triggered it, but Ava just started pulling back one day. She broke a clasp, dragged the round pen panels around, and when I used the tie blocker she ran backwards until the rope came loose. I was at my wits end. I tried something a little unconventional. I stopped tying her. I held her or "ground tied" her for a few weeks/months and then slowly introduced her to tying again like it was the first time. I haven't had her run backwards while tied since then, but running backwards in going to pop up again a little later. 

Happy Birthday Avalon!

 The real title of this post is: My Mom Should Be a Professional Photographer - A Photo Dump

2018: 20 & 3

2021: 23 & 6

I think this is called a glow up. 

I don't have any pictures of Ava since she turned seven....but those are coming soon. 

Avalon Updates: November 2020 - January 2021

 Hello again! It has been a minute since I posted horse training related content. I can't fit a year and half into one blog post and do this fantastic mare any justice, so I'll take it one piece at a time. 

November

When I first arrived home from Oregon in November of 2020 I was excited to put all my new tools and experiences to test on my personal horse. I was surprised by how much I needed to adjust back to working with Ava after spending so much time with seasoned, kid-safe horses. 

Can I take a moment to mention how lovely this mare is? I personally think her colors are best in the fall months. Maybe it is the way she contrasts the fall leaves. 

In Oregon, we used shims to help saddles fit better, so I tried out some different pads and shims on my personal saddles. After a month or so I gave up on this. I don't have a saddle pad that can have shims inserted, so as the saddle moved around they would move and even fall off. 

I asked the horsewomen at CPYR how they would handle Avalon's reactivity at the trot. She would be calm at the walk, but as soon as she picked up speed, she would become increasingly spooky, emotional, and reactive. They suggested more trotting - so we spent a lot of time on that in November. 

I have so many pictures of this curious horse eating my tack.

I brought out the horse ball for a while. She enjoys it, but it takes FOREVER to inflate, so I don't use it often. 

All the kitten pictures. Avalon is not a fan of dogs. She either "spooks" at them or tries to attack them. On the other hand, she loves cats. Not only will she let them climb all over her, she will groom and nuzzle them. I even heard her nicker to them once. 

We had a lot of fun in November. We ran around the outdoor arena together at liberty, even on spooky windy days. We also practiced dragging poles around beside us. Most importantly, we spent a lot of time just hanging out together and getting scratches. 

December

December and January were fairly uneventful since I had no indoor arena to work in and Wisconsin winters do not make for good horse training weather. I still found time to hang out and visit when the weather permitted. 

January 

I couldn't find any good photos, but my favorite thing in the whole world is when Avalon stands at the gate and watches as my car drives away. I don't think I've ever felt more loved. This mare is honest and straight-forward about her feelings. You never have to wonder where you stand with her. So when she makes it clear that she wants to spend time with me, it's the best feeling.