Gambey Anniversary Post -Repost

Ladies and Gents, it's colic season. Technically, it's always colic season, especially if you have a horse with an exceptionally sensitive gut. But every year, in western Wisconsin, we get chilly, fall weather complete with windblown thunderstorms only to have them replaced with 90 degree humid days. Two years ago today the vet said it was affecting a lot of horses in the area.

**Contrary to the cheery title and opening paragraph, this a post about losing my first horse in September 2017. Some of the descriptions of what he went through are graphic and may difficult to read. But horses die, and there are a few things I think everyone should have on their minds. So please skip to the bottom paragraph if you don't want to read the whole post. <3 **

I remember a lot of things from September 25th, 2017. I remember bringing one of my best friends out to see Gambler. I remember that I was going to canter for the first time that day, but I didn't because I was worried about the heat causing colic. Turns out that worrying does not equal prevention. 

I remember getting the call that Gamby was down and rolling, and very rudely telling my mother she was overreacting. Because who wants to believe that kind of news? 

I remember the look on his face - it was like he wasn't even there.

I remember trying to lead him, but I had just gone on a multiple-hour-long hike and my whole legs ached and popped. I couldn't lead him fast enough to keep him from going down so I had to stand and watch my mom lead him for hours and hours and hours. I remember feeling helpless. I felt like a bad owner. I remember the blisters we both had the next day.

I remember that I didn't cry until 2am when the vet said something hopeful in a tone of voice that told me there was no hope. 

I remember learning that horses can indeed throw up - but it's something you never want to experience. I remember the smell of mineral oil and horse stomach juice on the sleeves of my sweatshirt. I remember waiting as long as I could to wash that sweatshirt because as bad as it smelled - it smelled like him.

I remember feeling so small, helpless, and broken. 

I remember finally letting him go. Watching his white eyelashes blink shut. Taking pictures and videos so I would never forget.

Losing Gambler is the worst thing I have experienced in my life so far. It completely changed me as a person - for the better. And if he had never gone, I would never have the amazing relationship I have now with Avalon. But the pitiless reality that horses die, suddenly, is something every horse owner needs to be prepared for. 

• Are you willing to pay for expensive surgery for colic, a broken bone, or another life-threatening illness? If so, make sure you have that money on hand.
• Do you want mementos of your horse? If so, make them now. Horsehair jewelry, hoof or chestnut clippings, and of course photos are all options. 
• When your horse dies, cut off a lot of his tail. Don't go for the mane like I did unpreparedly. You can do much more with a tail portion twice the diameter of a pencil - more is better.